In Genesis 37 we learn of Joseph, the pride and joy of his father Israel. I thought of this earlier today as I lay in my bed on a beautiful spring day with my foot elevated and in pain and wondering what to do. Without sufficient financial provision nor insurance, injuries and illness presents unique challenges. As I lay there trying to focus on something other than all the “I should be” and “Oh, I wish I was up to” in my life, I tried to meditate and pray and laying down to elevate my l.eg was making staying awake difficult particularly since sleep at night has been difficult. I found my mind interfering with my spirit and thoughts of “why” and “how” kept slipping through. Then, however, I looked at the chair by my desk. Slung over the chair was a jacket I picked up at a delightful church run thrift shop. It is satin with lots of bright colors. It makes me think of stained glass windows and I do love them so.
Today, though, my thoughts turned to Joseph. You see, like many people, some parts of my life seemed to go great and others seemed unexpectedly disappointing. “But I did all the right things, so why” filtered through my mind. Today, as I caught a glimpse of my jacket, I was reminded of Joseph. Seemingly much-loved, but we know what young Joseph, his father’s much-loved baby boy, experienced. For, this son of privilege experienced much pain at the hand of his own brothers. Surely deep down he must have been tempted by thoughts of “but why me” and “don’t you love me?” and “this hurts” and “surely I was made for more than this” yet his life went from his father’s love to something very different, didn’t it?
He went through a time of darkness and pain yes, but when he accepted this and kept his eyes on the tiny speck of light, the speck grew, didn’t it? His trust and faith in his father God lightened his load, healed his pain, and he was blessed and used by his father God in ways which brought the Father’s blessings to many. The things in his life likely were not at all what he’d expected and not necessarily what he wanted, but his faith carried him and the Lord’s plan was AMAZING.
I don’t understand what’s going on with me, not entirely. It sometimes hurts and is sometimes scary, but unexpected joy erupts and I am reminded of the hope I have in the Lord. In my life there have been many times in which my wants went unfulfilled and yet it was wonderful because the Lord’s plan is always best. He’s working on His plan for me right now. The pain will pass. I seek to grow in Him, to listen to Him, and to follow. Fear comes but it need not stop me. My trust in Him means walking, even limping, in fear. When I do, He calms my fear and I am blessed. Today, I was reminded of His love by a $2.00 jacket from a thrift store.