Falling In Love

Wow, falling in love is such an amazing experience!  The deep connection with the one I love and the intensity of desire to be together every moment of the day and night.  Totally connecting together in every way possible and focusing on what I can do to bring Him joy . . . there’s just nothing better!  Initially, I find the rest of the world disappears and my eyes see him everywhere, my heart is focused only on him, and nothing can take the smile from my face nor stop my very soul from dancing in delight.  In interpersonal relationships with other humans on this planet we find ourselves all too often falling out of love almost as often as we fall into it.  That, however, is not the love relationship I am referring to.   I am speaking of falling in love with the Lord.  Until my heart and soul began the journey I am now on, I did not connect the words “falling in love” with the Lord.  When I began to hear someone close to me speaking of his having fallen in love in this manner, I at first thought it rather odd.  I assumed he was using strong words and phrases to get our attention.  My friend is a priest, you see.  I was wrong.  I started to realize that when I looked into his eyes, I saw Jesus looking back at me and I also realized that even on a “bad” day that love my friend has for the Lord still shines through.  I wanted that for myself. 

 I wasn’t sure how to find that special “something” that my priest friend found and which I’d never known existed.  Oh, I knew the Lord existed.  Knew lots about Him.  I was raised in a Christian home by parents active in church.  I know the prayers and know the church year, the liturgical colors and what they mean.  I know the Bible stories.  I know what falling in love is.  I also know that it can hurt when it doesn’t last.  This was something more.  Discovering that it existed uncovered a hunger in me that I never knew I had.  Suddenly everything was different for me, yet at the same time it was also frustratingly the same.  Where do I look for this special “something” my friend has shown me?  I assumed there must be a book, so I searched for one.  I found many books that seemed to offer a glimpse of what I was looking for.  I read of people who talked to the Lord – and heard Him talk back.  Suddenly I believed this truly happened for them.  I wanted that for myself.

 I read more books.  I heard about personal relationships people had with the Lord.  I had never really thought about “church” and “Jesus” in terms of an actual deep and personal relationship.  I had enjoyed lots of relationships.   I grew to enjoy some of them more deeply than others and some I “outgrew” and stepped away from.  I came to realize that when you go deep with another human, you can be hurt.  I learned about building a wall around my heart to protect it from that hurt.  This personal relationship with the Lord didn’t seem at ALL like any of those.  I thought of the marriage vows of “in sickness and in health” and thought that while I’d not seen many humans in relationships that truly epitomized that deep love in good times and bad, this personal relationship with Jesus seemed to bring joy into the equation even when life in this world was anything but happy.  I watched my friend when he didn’t know I was looking, and when he was off by himself and alone.  I don’t particularly like being “alone” much.  Oh, sometimes it’s great, but it can also make me feel abandoned.  My friend, when I watched him from a distance, never seemed alone.  I wanted that for myself.

 Reading the Bible I found these words “The Lord will not forsake me for His great name’s sake, for it has pleased Him to make me one of His people.”  1 Samuel 12:22.  Wow.  This passage just left me wanting more and looking for more instructions.  I needed to get the right books, the right words, the right map . . . I was full of desire and if I could only just figure out how to do it.  I watched others who seemed to know something.  I looked in the library.   I used search engines online.  I read the Bible more and more.  I found in John 14:18 that “He will not abandon me or leave me as an orphan in the storm-He will come to me.”  Again, I wanted that for myself.  I wasn’t willing to be “left out” anymore.  So, I put the books down this time and called out in prayer saying “Lord I want that.”  Then I did something I’d not done before.  I sat quietly and waited and listened. 

 The most amazing thing happened.  The Lord spoke to me and I knew His voice!  He told me He loved me and that He’d been waiting for me to invite Him in!  The journey in this new life my soul has found is not easy.  It is dark and bumpy.  I stumble.  But I have learned what being in love with the Lord means because He has shown me.  When I fall and can’t seem to get up and go on, all I have to do is say “Come Lord Jesus!”  He never leaves me.  Being in love is incredible.  This is a love affair that will never end!  If you want that for yourself, I urge you to simply let Him know, and then listen quietly and you’ll discover He has been with you all along waiting and loving you!