August 15, 2011
So, you know how it is when you have a day when you feel like the dog poop and all the world is a shoe? Okay, you may giggle but I know you know what I’m saying.
Okay, so I am feeling so much love for the Lord and drawn to serve Him in so many ways, but then there’s the need to pay my bills, keep a roof over my head and my family’s, eat occasionally. At this point I don’t see how to do the things I’m called for and be paid for them, so as Paul made and sold tents to enable Him to do the work He was called to do, I’ve been somewhat half-heartedly doing some searching for tent making opportunities of my own. I find that perhaps my attitude needs to change because it took very little time to check the updated job listings and determine the results were bleak. I would love to say that I smiled and thought “onto something else, and more of that tomorrow” but no, that didn’t happen. Why? Well, i was feeling hope slipping away. I tried quiet time. I was interrupted by foolish demands, wrong number phone calls and other trivial things. I can’t count how many times I’ve listened to “come down here and look at this” and so forth. Finding my mood darkening and the INTERRUPTIONS GROWING CONSTANT and even as I type this, they CONTINUE . . . . so I turned to the Bible.
An online search for the word “hopeless” in the NIV Bible revealed that there is just one reference to it. I am wondering if I am the only one in thousands of years who can honestly admit to fighting that feeling? I know I’m not the only one. However, I read the verse and if I can just complete a sentence without another “are you going to look at this?” I will share it.
You were wearied by all your ways, but you would not say, ‘It is hopeless.’ You found renewal of your strength, and so you did not faint.
True, I may feel the emotion robbing me of my proper attitude just now, but as Isaiah states, I will not declare that it is hopeless, for I know where my hope lies. I just need to feel His hand, the Lord God of my salvation, upon me. I know He’s here with me and holding tight. Even when I don’t feel it, I know! Deep breath . . . in . . . out . . . the rain of last evening has been replaced by sunshine. Hope is returning.